Espresso dance

Waaa-HHooooooooo!
saturday is my friday .
soon i will relax . . .
yes very very soon .... . . .
anytime now really . . .
if i can just remember what it feels like to relax i know i could do it ....
there is a pain in my brain with the thinking of the thoughts of relaxing .
one of my eyes is bulging with the popping of the synapses in my twitching
sweaty cheek .
AAAAAAaaaaaaaagh !
i may need to sleep .
or
drink coffee?
Coffee ?
coffee black ?
coffee light ?
WWWWWaaaa-Hoooooooo!
coffe,coffee,coffee,coffee,coffee,coffee,coffee
coffee,coffee,coffee,coffee,coffee,coffee,coffee,
coffee,coffee,coffee,coffee,coffee,coffee,coffee,
WWWWaaaaa-Hooooooo!

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You know that people come up to me on the street all the time , and ask
"How do I know if absurdism is right for me?"
The answer is easy .
You already know !
You feel this intuitively .You have absurdism deep in the core of your being.You feel it when filling out a job application , and resist the urge to put "yes" in the "BORN" blank .
you feel it when paying your taxes , or paying insurance premiums .You feel it when putting "human" in the "RACE" blank on a census form because you know that it is illegal for them to ask you what your race is (and damn rude also ...and they don't apologise either.)
Absurdism is an essential personality trait .When it is suppressed , or underdeveloped serious conditions can occur ;such as ~taking yourself to seriously~ wich can lead to megalomania, suicide,depression, and substance abuse .
If you are in denial of your inner absurdist BEWARE !
Absurdity can start to seep through when it is not appropriate .
Have you ever called a mufflershop , and ask if they carry mufflers?
See your doctor immediately !
Have you ever believed a campaigning politician ?
You are about to explode ! please go to the lowest level of your house ,lie down ,cover your head , and write your blood type , and social security number on your wrist .
Some quick,emergency, preventative measures to help you from attaining critical mass in the event of lack of absurdity are as follows :
:Make scrambled eggs with blue food dye , and place equal servings in sandwich bags .Go hand them out on the street to passing strangers .Attempt to do this without chuckling , grinning , or averting your gaze.A serious demeanor is imperative for this emergency measure to be effective.
:Pay your taxes with pennies. (use fedex .they like it. )
:Put on all your underwear at the same time , and then go about your normal day .Don't be afraid to utter the occasional "what the hell are you looking at ?" to anyone that stares.
:Take yourself prisoner , and attempt to negotiate for a day off at work.
:Maple syrup is very sticky .come up with some new uses for it .
:Start a mosh-pit at the Yanni concert .
:Draw a smiley face on the tip of your nose .
:Try a pony tail in the front
:Laugh at people that scoff
:Scoff at people that laugh
:Try to smile on one side of your face , and frown with the other .
practice until you can do it right .Then switch sides.
:Set your watch 15 minutes early so you are never late .(but don't tell anyone that asks you what time it is the real time .tell them your time , and consider it your gift to them )
:Send a thank you note to your elected officials .
:Always say please , and thank you .(I know this doesnt sound absurd , but it elevates your thinking )
:Whenever in a public restroom toilet stall practice howling at the moon like a houndog .
:Never stick out your tongue unless you are prepared to use it .
:End each sentence with the phrase "but, i'm much better now ."
:Try to figure out how many miles to the gallon your toilet gets .
:Run an ad for ninja training school in your local paper .Leave the contact number for human resources at WAL-MART.
I hope this has been helpful . if you have any questions please contact me by entering comments in thisa blog.

The Absurdist : Duties of the rampant liberal ~ VS.~ The soul of the conservative

I must admire the the dedication to form , without substance , and emotion without honor
that is the path of the socialistic dogma driven left .
Harrison Bergeron cometh !
Absurdism respects all of the idiosynchratic shortcomings of our flawed humanity with gratitude.
Irony is my meat , and potato !
Bureaucracy is the master plan of any , and all absurdists . it is the canvas on wich i paint , and it is the hole in my sock that makes my heel stick to my inner soul .(no , i didn't mean innersole you fool ... I am an absurdist . stop correcting me . don't you know how ridiculous it is to correct an absurdist ?)
where was I . . . ?
Oh yes, the heart of the matter.FIRE CONGRESS !
We have enough laws already.
They can easily be replaced by windows office updates .
FIRE the I.R.S. !
We have a capital city that is filled with people that do one thing very well .....They raise money .
I don't mind paying taxes. I just want to decide how my money is spent .
If government wants special funding for a project let them ask politely dammit !
Whats the matter ? don't you believe in democracy ? Shouldn't the will of the people be
the determining factor in the course of our fates ?
Don't you trust us with our own resources?
Do you think we'll waste it all on video games , and candy ?
I propose a "consensuship" with referendum on each policy of , by , and for the people !
The system of checks , and balances is not functioning .
We need to bring it into the twenty first century .
One or two representatives for how many people /regions/income brackets?
Who in your government is representing you ?
Is it someone of your income level , that resides in your geographic region , with you goals ,
and your proffesional background?
Is it someone you call "peer"?
Is it an elitist/ power mad /thief that will take your family home for "eminant domain"?
Is it someone that won't pass Jessica's law because they are crooked , and greedy?
I have a magnetic strip on my banckcard that is secure enough to guard my personal funds .
I propose that it is secure enough to guard my vote (my duty as an american citizen to vote on policy/law/spending each day ....would probably
take as much time as getting my account balance and paying some bills )
Are you too lazy to really take your government by the reigns , and be responsible for your own future instead of just whining about your leaders?
Do you like the idea of a government that takes care of your every need ,and tells you what to think with clever manipulation, and fear mongering?(they can't .bureucracy exists only to perpetuate itself .)
GROW UP !
(and leave the ridiculous to someone open to the idea of absurdity as a philanthropic service)
This country is a tremendous untapped resource ( a braintrust if you will).
Let the people govern , not a bunch of tired old salesmen , and slavering extortionists .
Who was it that said " no taxation without representation"?
What do you think that means ?
What do you think a real american would do ?
daydream about being the next american idol ?
wait for someone else to do it ?