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You know that people come up to me on the street all the time , and ask
"How do I know if absurdism is right for me?"
The answer is easy .
You already know !
You feel this intuitively .You have absurdism deep in the core of your being.You feel it when filling out a job application , and resist the urge to put "yes" in the "BORN" blank .
you feel it when paying your taxes , or paying insurance premiums .You feel it when putting "human" in the "RACE" blank on a census form because you know that it is illegal for them to ask you what your race is (and damn rude also ...and they don't apologise either.)
Absurdism is an essential personality trait .When it is suppressed , or underdeveloped serious conditions can occur ;such as ~taking yourself to seriously~ wich can lead to megalomania, suicide,depression, and substance abuse .
If you are in denial of your inner absurdist BEWARE !
Absurdity can start to seep through when it is not appropriate .
Have you ever called a mufflershop , and ask if they carry mufflers?
See your doctor immediately !
Have you ever believed a campaigning politician ?
You are about to explode ! please go to the lowest level of your house ,lie down ,cover your head , and write your blood type , and social security number on your wrist .
Some quick,emergency, preventative measures to help you from attaining critical mass in the event of lack of absurdity are as follows :
:Make scrambled eggs with blue food dye , and place equal servings in sandwich bags .Go hand them out on the street to passing strangers .Attempt to do this without chuckling , grinning , or averting your gaze.A serious demeanor is imperative for this emergency measure to be effective.
:Pay your taxes with pennies. (use fedex .they like it. )
:Put on all your underwear at the same time , and then go about your normal day .Don't be afraid to utter the occasional "what the hell are you looking at ?" to anyone that stares.
:Take yourself prisoner , and attempt to negotiate for a day off at work.
:Maple syrup is very sticky .come up with some new uses for it .
:Start a mosh-pit at the Yanni concert .
:Draw a smiley face on the tip of your nose .
:Try a pony tail in the front
:Laugh at people that scoff
:Scoff at people that laugh
:Try to smile on one side of your face , and frown with the other .
practice until you can do it right .Then switch sides.
:Set your watch 15 minutes early so you are never late .(but don't tell anyone that asks you what time it is the real time .tell them your time , and consider it your gift to them )
:Send a thank you note to your elected officials .
:Always say please , and thank you .(I know this doesnt sound absurd , but it elevates your thinking )
:Whenever in a public restroom toilet stall practice howling at the moon like a houndog .
:Never stick out your tongue unless you are prepared to use it .
:End each sentence with the phrase "but, i'm much better now ."
:Try to figure out how many miles to the gallon your toilet gets .
:Run an ad for ninja training school in your local paper .Leave the contact number for human resources at WAL-MART.
I hope this has been helpful . if you have any questions please contact me by entering comments in thisa blog.